At the beginning of this pandemic I prayed my heart out that it would disappear. I know God is capable of ANYTHING and I waned this disappearance of the virus to be that specific anything.
My reasonings for the desire of the disappearance of the virus were a few:
- At the start of the pandemic here in the United States I was ten weeks pregnant. I just wanted that normal pregnancy experience. It had taken us a while to get pregnant due to some health problems I was experiencing and the joy I felt when we finally began our parenting journey with a positive pregnancy test on January 31st 2020 was astronomical. I wanted to share our pregnancy with family and friends. I didn’t want to be on a stay at home order.
- My heart broke for families who were touched by the virus and experienced loss from it. Simple. I didn’t want this virus to be yet another reminder of how finite our lives here on Earth are.
- It wasn’t within MY plans. For the people who know me closely, they know I am a major control freak. (Something I am always working on) This virus simply didn’t fit into my plans. When curveballs are thrown my way (similar to this) I tend to respond first with fear and frustration, wondering why God chose to allow this (whatever the “this” is at that time) to happen.
Fast forward to today. I am writing this blog at 6am on a Friday, Friday July 10th. I am now 27 weeks pregnant. The pandemic has not gone away like I had prayed for so hard for the first few weeks. Things have changed, life is slowly returning to…well…kind of normal. My family and friends have seen my growing belly, we are back to church, stores and restaurants are reopen, but the virus hasn’t disappeared and things certainly aren’t returning to the normal any of us remember prior to the start of this.
So, how is it that I didn’t get what I prayed for, but have experienced exponential spiritual growth through this pandemic? Well, one word answer, GOD.
My husband and I were chatting last night before bed and he said, “God uses things like this to draw us closer to him. Look at me. Not being boastful, but just pointing out the fact that I have read my bible more in the last three months than I have in the last three years.” He wasn’t wrong. I have seen a fire for God from Tim that I don’t know if I have ever really seen before. He wants to be in God’s word. And I do too.
We began reading a chapter a night from the bible together and discussing it. We started with Titus and I truly cannot tell you why or how we started there. We then worked our way backward to 1 Timothy, then 2 Timothy, then reread Titus (because…for such a short book, it is JAM packed!), then Philemon, then we went back up to 1 Thessalonians and 2 Thessalonians and are now working our way through Hebrews.
Y’all, we have never done this before. We read devotionals together every night before bed, but we have never sat down every single day to read a book of the bible and talk about it. It’s been pure beauty to watch our relationship grow as we discuss God’s word and to watch our relationship with the Lord blossom through the study of His word together as one flesh.
I want to encourage you. If you feel completely defeated and hopeless, like there’s no way up from here. You have fallen too far or the world has fallen too far, let this be of encouragement to you. Get into God’s word. His presence NEVER disappoints. He is the well of living water. He is truly where our hope comes from. Trust me, if you begin reading through His word on your own, with a friend, or with your spouse and truly work to understand what you are reading, you will find the nuggets of truth, wisdom and hope you have been searching for are all there waiting for you.
God’s got you, sis. Trust Him and seek Him and you will not be disappointed.
Spiritual Growth Through the Coronavirus Pandemic
July 10, 2020